why do something when you can sleep?

Seriously friends. Why should I do anything right now except sleep? Is there really any benefit to moving from this wonderfully warm spot that I've created over the past 12 hours to actually do anything? Doing something requires not sleeping, correct? So, if I were to want to do something, it would necessitate my stopping sleeping in order to do it. That is utterly ridiculous. Now, if there were a way for me to do something without requiring that I change my state of consciousness, then perhaps you would make a compelling point for the doing of that thing. But the moment you ask me to wake up from this beautiful slumber in order to respond to your request to do something, you have broken the trust that is necessary for our relationship to stay strong. And by stay strong, I mean not exist, because having a relationship requires doing something, correct? I thought so. Therefore, in summary. I will not be doing anything for the foreseeable future. Doing something requires that I cease from my slumber. I shall do no such thing. I will instead, sleep.

Kon out!

Red with Black Stripes

I'm baaaaack!!

BAM!! Kon's back in the house! To everyone who kept bugging me about posting, you're great but CHILL OUT! I've been ridiculously busy. It's been a tough time for me since I last posted. My attempts at joining the UCN were foiled by a group of communist cats. You heard me! Communist cats. And not the utopia loving hippie kind of communist cats, I'm talking the straight hard-core USSR, Lenin loving, Mao worshipping communist cats. Needless to say, I wasn't expecting it. I was abducted by this group of cats and whisked away to some place far away from home sweet home. They even took my family too! We've only just now been given access to a computer so I could post an update and let everyone know that I am currently working with a cat named 'McGroomer' (see picture) to hatch a plot to take down our captors and return to the UCN where I can finally get around to enacting my brilliant plan to take over the world's chip supply. I can't give details about our plot (those commie's might be Googling 'plot to take down commie cats' and stumble upon it) but I can say it involves pudding, a hairnet, and some leftover bread bag twisty ties. Oh! dangit, I gotta go! McGroomer needs my help with something. Wish us luck!! I'll let everyone know how it all plays out once we're free!

Kon out,

I Should Rule the World

Sometimes I think I should rule the world. Beyond my conspicuously good looks, I am also quite educated. I have degrees in Applied Sleeping, Catology, and I have a Masters of The Universe. I have recently submitted an application to the UCN (United Cat Nations) and am awaiting a response. When they accept me (because it is not a matter of if) I will quickly enact my 100 days plan. This plan involves 4 major efforts:

1. Mandatory Siesta from noon until 5pm.
2. Tuna shall only be consumed by cats. Beans are not capable of truely enjoying this delicious fish.
3. All dogs who do not abide by the Universal Cat and Dog Treaty shall be sent to Alaska where they can do...whatever it is that dogs do in the cold.
4. Lays Potato Chip company will officially come under my control.

Being that I am a generous cat, I submit an open invitation to send me any other initiatives you, my fellow cats, would like to see persued. I will consider all of them with my advisors and determine whether or not they will further our great Cat Nation.

Sly is an idiot

Sly is an idiot. He thinks Mom has magic. (see his post here). Mom doesn't have magic, i know this because Dad told me. Also, I snuck in while she was working on the cat room. "Paint" is just this wet stuff that covers the walls. I saw her doing it. It's pretty cool, but certainly not magic. Anyways, there are other reasons that Sly is an idiot. He won't leave me alone. EVER! He's always smacking me in the face, trying to make me fight him. I always kick his ass and he just lays there asking me to fight him more. That's so stupid. He also hogs all of mom's attention. I partly blame Mom for that. She starts loving on Sly and IGNORES ME!! How can anyone ignore ME?! I'm so handsome and lovey and just plain awesome. Sly is an idiot.

Chips

So some people may not understand the title of my blog. I mentioned it in an earlier post but I'll say it again. I love chips. They so freaking delicious. But all I ever hear is "No chips for Kon". That makes me ANGRY!! Even dad has started to say I can't have any. Grrrrrrrrrr... One day though... one day. I will have my reckoning and devour a bag of the best snack on planet Earth: Chips.

I love sleeping

I love sleeping. It is probably the greatest thing ever. I sleep all the time. Sometimes I sleep almost 20 hours out of the day. Sleep is great. I love sleeping so much in fact, that I am going to go sleep right now.